Where Are You Now?
by Jadyn
Summary: Ahhh! I accidentally deleted this one, so here it is. Sirius/Remus SLASH songficiness. A controversial word that could be considered a swear. And lots of generalized sad fluffiness. R/R. *big, big, crazy smile*


Where Are You Now?   
A slash songfic by Jadyn  
Sirius/Remus  
  
  
/Calling out your name/  
/Your face is everywhere/  
/I'm reaching out to you/  
/To find that you're not there/  
  
Sirius woke up on the concrete floor of his cell, tears streaming down his face. His arms were wrapped tightly around his own body, in an obvious subconscious attempt to hold his lover. Remus wasn't there, though. "Of course." Sirius remembered bitterly. "He wasn't accused of anything." More than anything, though, Sirius was afraid of Remus leaving and forgetting him. All because of Peter. That traitorous bastard. Remus had tried so hard to find him. When Peter had left the night before it had all happened, Remus was the one to chase after him. Remus was the one who cared about what happened to everyone.  
  
/I wake up every night/  
/To see the state I'm in/  
/It's like an endless fight/  
/I never seem to win/  
  
Although it was cold and snowing, Remus stood outside the offices of the Ministry of Magic again; he needed to see Barty Crouch. If only there was proof that Sirius was innocent! James and Lily were gone, and everyone was blaming Sirius. Even Dumbledore was saying that Sirius was to blame. Remus believed that it was Peter, because that's what Sirius said. And Remus believed everything Sirius said. To Remus, Sirius could move mountains, turn the sun off, and make love to the stars. Sirius held the universe in his palm. And Remus worshipped the ground he walked on.  
  
/I can't go on/  
/As long as I believe/  
/Can't let go/  
/When I keep wondering/  
  
"Get up, Black! What do ya think Azkaban is? Some sort of sleep home?" the relentless guard -what was his name? Oh, yes, Fullerton- screamed again. It was merely five in the morning, and already there were men milling around, lining up to go eat breakfast.  
  
"Can't sir. I'm sick, sir," Sirius offered weakly. Well, it was true. His heart hurt from not having Remus around, and the stress was giving him a stomachache. That qualified as an illness, didn't it?  
  
"Woss wrong witcha, eh?"  
  
"I've got a touch of a bad stomachache, sir."  
  
"So whot? You get pneumonia, we'll give you the day off. A stomachache? I don't think so."  
  
Sirius arose reluctantly, giving the guard a resentful stare as he exited the cell. First a bowl of gruel as breakfast, then a four hour exercise period, a two hour beating session, lunch, another beating session, dinner, bed at nine. Sirius was beginning to know the schedule very well. He lined up and got his gruel. Once he sat down, he looked at the bubbling mass of gray, pushed his bowl away, and turned his thoughts back to Remus. What was Remus doing right now?  
  
/Where are you now?/  
/What have you found?/  
/Where is your heart/  
/When I'm not around?/  
/Where are you now?/  
/You gotta let me know/  
/Oh, baby, so I can let you go/  
  
Remus banged against the wooden door. Someone had to be there. Even if it was a security guard, perhaps the man would be kind enough to let him wait inside. Remus shivered, and checked his watch. It was seven o' clock. Someone had to be there. It was twenty-three degrees Fahrenheit outside, at least according to the Muggle bank clock next door. At least Sirius was warm. It had to be somewhat warmer indoors, even in a prison. Remus rested his sandy brown hair against the door upon which he had been banging. "Please let Sirius be alright in Azkaban. Please let him be safe," Remus said in a silent prayer, not to God, because Sirius didn't believe in God. Well, not in the God, but in celestial bodies as gods. So Remus prayed to the stars and the heavens when he prayed for Sirius. He hoped that those constellations Sirius so dearly loved could hear him right now.  
  
/I can hear your voice/  
/The ring of yesterday/  
/It seems so close to me/  
/But yet so far away/  
  
The first screams of the day rang in Sirius's ears as the clock struck nine, when beating time, or as the guards referred to it, "the Happy Hours", officially started. Luckily, Sirius was on the bottom floor of Azkaban, meaning that they might not have time to get to his beating before lunch. But Sirius knew he'd be beaten at one point of the day. Hopefully he wouldn't be in here long. He recalled the last thing he had heard Remus say.  
  
"I'll fight for you, love. I'll have you out by the New Year!"  
  
It was already December.  
  
/I should let it out/  
/To save what's left of me/  
/And close the doors of doubt/  
/Without my dignity/  
  
Sitting inside the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Remus kept glancing around. He had been told by the secretary that Crouch would be there at about ten. It was already nine forty-five, and Crouch was nowhere in sight. Quickly, Remus said another prayer this time for himself, that he could get his beloved out of this horrible situation. Crouch walked quickly and hastily through the elevator doors, his mustache perfectly oiled, his black leather briefcase gleaming, and his flannel coat spotless. The secretary looked up and nodded at Remus. Crouch extended his hand, and Remus took it almost immediately.   
  
"May I ask what the problem is, my boy?" Crouch boomed rather jovially, as they went through the doors to his office.  
  
"Yes, you see sir..."  
  
/But I can't go on/  
/As long as I believe/  
/Can't let go/  
/When I keep wondering/  
  
The whip stung Sirius's back as the two collided. Sirius gritted his teeth, fighting the overwhelming urge to scream. "Just think about other things, Sirius," he told himself. "Remus, Remus. Remus's hands on your back. Remus's lips on yours..." It was at that point the whip again cracked against Sirius's back. He gave up and let out a scream. At least he got to go to bed in thirty minutes.   
  
/ Where are you now?/  
/What have you found?/  
/Where is your heart/  
/When I'm not around?/  
/Where are you now?/  
/You gotta let me know/  
/Oh, baby, so I can let you go/  
  
  
"Get out! Get out, you fag, and never, ever come back!" Remus had never seen anyone look so angry at him. Remus ran out the door, trying to get away from Crouch's wrath. Remus had done nothing more than state his case, cause, and request. And Crouch had gone off. Remus ran down the stairs and out of the building. By the time he got down the street and to a safe place to Apparate home, he was sobbing. His promise to Sirius was broken. In one week, it would be 1982. And Sirius would still be in Azkaban.  
  
/I should let it out/  
/It's time to let you go/  
/Oh, baby, I just want to know/  
  
Sirius lay in the pile of hay that was supposed to be his bed and looked out of the window. Between the iron, charm-proof bars, he could see Polaris. The star that he and Remus had sworn to pray on when they were worried about each other. Praying that Remus was doing the same thing, with tears in his eyes, Sirius began to pray.  
  
/ Where are you now?/  
/What have you found?/  
/Where is your heart/  
/When I'm not around?/  
/Where are you now?/  
/You gotta let me know/  
/Oh, baby, so I can let you go/  
  
  
  
  
Okay! That was my first venture into slash writing! I'm not one-hundred percent sure on the lyrics, so if they're wrong, please tell me! Review, and have a nice everything! -- Jadyn  
  
(A/N: Sirius, Remus, Crouch and Azkaban belong to the one and only Ms. J. K. Rowling. "Where Are You Now?" belongs to Britney Spears or whoever. Bye!) 


End file.
